Have you ever?

Have you ever wanted something very badly – something that was within your grasp – and yet you were afraid to reach out for it?

Lady Rain…

i love the way it touches me…in a  very special way…

makes me feel so free…

* i got the picture from here

Pertanyaanku..

Beberapa waktu yang lalu hampir semua berita di TV tentang para caleg yang stres dan depresi setelah mengetahui bahwa diri mereka gak terpilih sebagai wakil rakyat. Banyak di antara mereka yang harus mendapatkan perawatan khusus di rumah sakit jiwa. Media massa banyak yang membahas tentang dua pertanyaan berikut:

“Apa sih sebenernya motivasi mereka menjadi anggota legislatif?”

“Apa aja sih agenda yang telah mereka persiapkan apabila mereka terpilih sebagai anggota legislatif?”

Tapi sebenernya pertanyaan terbesarku adalah:

“Apakah para caleg yang telah terpilih sebagai anggota legislatif mungkin juga memiliki mental yang sama dengan para caleg yang tidak terpilih itu? Seandainya anggota legislatif yang telah terpilih itu gagal pada saat pencalonan kemaren, apakah mereka juga akan mengalami stres dan depresi yang sama seperti para caleg yang gagal itu?”

Kalo iya….haduh haduh haduh HADOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH….

So…i’ll take my time….

I’ve been blind too blind to tell false from true
I’ve been so busy running
Never stopped to think where I was running to
But I’ve learned my lesson from the tears I’ve had to cry

Sometimes it helps to take your time
To sit alone and watch the world go by
Cause every day it’s new
Thank God for this beautiful view
Every day it’s new
Thank God for this beautiful view

Taken from : “Room with A View” by Tina Dico

Puisi

Penyihir

Carikan bulan

Terbuat dari kerinduan

Potonglah tipis,

Dan gantungkan tinggi-tinggi

Di atas rumah kekasihku,

Agar tampak olehnya

Saat dia menengadah,

Biar dia mendesah rindu untukku

Seperti aku mendesah rindu untuknya

Ada bulan ataupun tiada

Oleh: Christopher Carrion

*Christopher Carrion ini tokoh dalam novel ABARAT yg ditulis oleh Clive Barker…..Nah, puisi ini ada di dalam buku ABARAT II

*Aku seneng ama puisi ini, tp jg wondering..kenapa bulannya hrs dipotong tipis yah??!! Tapi emang sih, novelnya agak2 gimana gitu, imajinasinya bener2 gak berbatas

Ikutan Imong aahhhh….

Imong yang mengenalkan website ini Sebenarnya udah lama nyobanya, cma sekarang lg pengen aja di post, biar blog-nya terkesan di update hahaha *geblek*

Just enter your date of birth..and voila..your animal character and personality differentiated by colors can be found – ini katanya lho

So..this is my result:

You are Blue Wolf — AAUUUUuuuuu….

Who is open, cheerful and a carefree type of person.  — dulu kakak gw bilang klo gw “crunchy” , gak tau deh klo sekarang ha ha ha

You possess very original atmosphere, and do not like to adjust yourself to others. You prefer to act on your own and as you like it. — mmm… iyah, ada benernya… banyak benernya ha ha ha

Therefore, at first people think you as a cool person, but once they get to know you, and trust is born, they will understand your good sense of humor and a friendly nature. — yaaa…udh sering banget nih kejadian kayak gini!!!

You tend to be indifferent and candid to opposite sex as well, so men think you as very bold woman. — ha ha ha ha

But you are actually a soft hearted person. — ya iyalaaaahh!

You have no thought of depending on others. — yupe!! tapi ada saatnya donk gw berbuat sebaliknya…

You believe other people are other, you are you.— yes yes yes… gak perlu resek  

And will go on living your own way. — what can i say….

You will not be influenced by emotions. — lots of times

You are true to your life as well. — always try to…

Because you tend to be indifferent to the people and situation around you, you give an impression of being thoughtless person. — …sigh… yaa…i know..

But once asked to do something, you will carry it out by putting in ever effort you possess. — of course, who doesn’t??!!

You are very responsible person. — amiennn

You tend to change your mind quickly. And because you like changes, people think you as temperamental. — been there before, and still…

You have great energy to be able to carry out many things at once, and even if you are busy, once you set your mind, you will definitely carry it out. — insyaallah akan selalu begitu

You are unique type of woman. — hhhmmm.. pernah ada yg bilang gitu sih hwe hwe hwe

You take time to find the best romance. — kadang disalah artikan dgn too picky…

You look for honest person, — semua orang juga pengen punya pasangan yg jujur…, and would act cautiously towards them. — gak juga..

When you get married, you will be good at carrying out housework, and will be able to create a happy family. — iya, karena udah punya pengalaman sebagai upik abu ha ha ha ha

Best Friends

In my life, i don’t have much best friends although i have so much friends. I’m not really an open person if it comes to personal stuffs, and it’s so damn hard for me to start a conversation with someone i don’t “click” to. But i can be so open easily with the person that i feel so click with me..if you get what i mean…

The funny thing is i rarely spend so much time together..face to face..with my best friends. I think you can count how many times me and my best friends together to have some chit chat or deep conversation..hhmm… i know, it’s a little bit weird didn’t it?! But that’s me! But once i have a chance to meet them, i use it very well J.

For me, to become a best friend, you don’t have to frequently meet your friend, and also you don’t have to frequently text some messages to your friend. It’s the feeling inside that count, you know … that you would never leave each other behind and would never judging each other! And…you need the chemistry..yupe..the chemistry!!  I don’t think we can create the chemistry, you can’t lie about chemistry, and you can’t push your self to have a chemistry with someone.Its just there!! If you don’t have the chemistry between you and your friend..then it would be hard for you to become their best friend

I Know

I know that someday my over curiosity will get me into troubles

And the impulsivity of mine will get me into disasters

But,

I know that without those two things, my life would only be black and white without any colors in between.

And without those two things, i couldn’t taste all the flavors that life had given me.

And without those two things, i could never met anyone that turns out could fill many rhythms to the music in my life.

But,

I also know that i have to learn how to control these two. There were and i’m very sure there’ll be times when those two couldn’t work in certain situation.

And,

I know that if i get into troubles and disasters because of those two of mine, i might cry or scream or going crazy or feel like its the end of the world….

But again,

I know that troubles and disasters too would help me to add meaning in my life :p

2009 = New Challenges

Di malam pergantian tahun baru ada best friend gw yang ngasi ucapan begini…

“Hope this year you will find more challenges that will fill up the colour of your life”

Oalaahhh.. kejadian euy… hahahaha.. doanya kok makbul banget ya?!?! I found those challenges..and it’ll keep coming to me for sure!!

Untuk itu gw pengen introspeksi diri supaya bisa melewati semua tantangan yang datang dalam hidup gw ho ho ho ho

Pengen bisa lebih sabar, gak terburu-buru dalam mengambil keputusan…cause sometimes I could be such an impulsive person

Pengen bisa lebih organize, gak slordeh lagi…. Gw terkenal slordeh ni, sampe Ike protes hahahaha

Pengen mengurangi addiction gw ke barang yang hampir diharamkan oleh MUI itu terlebih setelah melihat kampanye pemerintahan Malaysia tentang barang yang satu itu, dijadikan salah satu resolusi tahun 2009 negara Malaysia dan gencar banget euy. Membuat gw jadi bener-bener mempertimbangkannya, apalagi sekarang sindiran yang halus tapi mengena banget dari best friend yang satu itu selalu terngiang-ngiang di telinga gw.. wuiiiiihhhh…. pokoke sindirannya halus tapi tajam buanget!!!!!

Pengen lebih mampu untuk bersyukur atas semua yang ada dalam hidup gw. Walopun terkadang Tuhan sering banget “bercanda” ama gw, tapi gw sadar kalo Tuhan yang lebih tau apa yang terbaik untuk gw. Gw-nya yang harus berusaha terus ;-p

Pengen bisa lebih memperluas pergaulan setelah dua tahun lebih di Medan cuma punya waktu untuk kuliah dan terpuruk di depan laptop untuk ngerjain tugas2 yang bejibun itu. Thank God finally I could free my self from those papers!

Pengen lebih “menyentuh” hidup orang lain… membantu orang lain.. yang ini psikologi banget ya hahahaha

Apalagi ya…  Sebenarnya intinya sama aja sih ama orang lain pada umumnya..

I wanna be a Better Person… much BETTER PERSON… so help me God…

“……”

Last night I read an article “Prevented from revealing the truth” in Star news paper when I was waiting my brother in law in his office. The article made me shock, cause it means that all the information I know about the Palestine condition recently only in the surface. What I’ve already know was very bad enough, so now… I realize that it’s much much much worse than very bad.

I definitely lie if I say that I could have this emphatic feeling for the Palestinians, because I could never have the ability to imagine how does it feels to be one of them!!!!!! GOD, I don’t think I have even a slight of courage to imagine about it.

Isn’t it ironic, disgrace, or whatever….. that the victims of the war would be mostly the innocent people, not “the bad guy” like we saw in the action movie. If one of the countries wins, then its victory would be made n build of the innocent people’s blood. That’s what I hate the most about war!

I really really hate and cursing the government of Israel for having the aggression to Palestine. I couldn’t agree more with what David Hammerstein had said “What Israeli is doing is stupid and suicidal for its future in the Middle East. If you cause so much hatred, you will reap lots of pain.”

What would you do….

If you’re feeling so alone in the crowd and lost in the middle of nowhere?

Thanks for my dentist

My dentist:  Drg. Arnus Sufarnap Bradley, Sp.ONT

Now I can have that great teeth and great smile

Even though sometimes it hurts, really hurts..

but hey… no pain no gain right?!!

Here… my smile for all of you hihihi

A quote from Grey’s Anatomy

So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Eventually feels a lot better than actually.

- Dr. Meredith Grey -

Here’s what I think:

We always have so many reasons to dislike, to hate anything or anyone.

But we don’t always have some reasons to like, to love something or  someone…sometimes we don’t need any reason at all……

A Pray

I’ll pray for you and wish you a good journey whatever decision it is. I pray it will not hurt anyone, I pray that its not too rushy, and pray that in long run your life will be better, and you can help others that face decision making like you have.

It’s always been very wonderful if someone remember you in her/his prayer, it’s the greatest gift cause it comes from the heart of a person.

So…thank you for remembering me that way in your pray that day.

For me, this pray really moves my heart…

I know its too much to ask, but I hope you’ll never forget me every time you pray

Piso Surit

Aku seneng banget ama lagu ini dari dulu, cuma gak tau aja artinya apa. Yang pasti lagu ini selalu bikin aku terharu dan sedih…

Setelah searching di internet, ini info yg kudapat:

Lagu Piso Surit Diciptakan Oleh Djaga Depari salah seorang tokoh masyarakat karo sekaligus komponis nasional pada masa orde lama.

Piso dalam bahasa karo sebenarnya berarti pisau dan banyak orang mengira bahwa Piso Surit merupakan nama sejenis pisau khas orang karo. Sebenarnya Piso Surit adalah nama sejenis burung yang suka bernyanyi. Kicau burung ini bila didengar secara seksama sepertinya sedang memanggil-manggil seseorang dan kedengaran sangat menyedihkan. Tarian Piso Surit adalah tarian yang menggambarkan seorang gadis yang sedang menantikan kedatangan kekasihnya. Penantian tersebut sangat lama dan menyedihkan dan digambarkan seperti burung Piso Surit yang sedang memanggil-manggil.

[http://id.wikipedia.org/Piso_Surit]

Kalo ada yang mau tau arti dari tiap bait lagunya, bisa dilihat disini.

Viky Sianipar melakukan aransemen ulang untuk lagu Piso Surit, and i think it’s Viky Sianipar’s masterpiece. He did a great job with the song! Silahkan menikmati lagunya ya..

Dec 3rd – 3.29 AM

Still awake…

Can’t sleep (

Fffhh….

For a very best friend of mine

I dedicated my thesis “Resilience on People Living with HIV/AIDS” for a very best friend of mine, who is also an ODHA (People living with HIV/AIDS)

Thank you for letting me in into your heart. Promise me you won’t givin up no matter what happen. I love you!

And now, I send you this song…

That’s What Friends Are For

And I never thought I’d feel this way
And as far as I’m concerned
I’m glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well, then close your eyes and try to feel
The way we do today
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin’, keep shinin’
Knowin’ you can always count on me, for sure
That’s what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for

Well, you came and opened me
And now there’s so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you

Whoa, and then for the times when we’re apart
Well, then close your eyes and know
These words are comin’ from my heart
And then if you can remember, oh

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That’s what friends are for
In good times, in bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
Oh, that’s what friends are for

Whoa…oh…oh…keep smilin’, keep shinin’
Knowin’ you can always count on me, for sure
That’s what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for

Keep smilin’, keep shinin’
Knowin’ you can always count on me, oh, for sure
‘Cause I tell you that’s what friends are for
For good times and for bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for (That’s what friends are for)

On me, for sure
That’s what friends are for
Keep smilin’, keep shinin’

Stuck in the moment

If someone asking me now about how I feel about my life, maybe I don’t have the right words to describe it. Lately I feel chaos inside. I feel that so many problems bugging me. But when I pull my self from all the problems, I can see that the problems are not as many as I thought.

Sometime when you let yourself drowning in your problems, they seem bigger than they are. It’s funny cause we tend to exaggerate all the problems we’ve had. We like to torture ourselves by feeling sorry for ourselves, feeling pity to ourselves, we like the idea that we’re the one who really lost in this world.

Stop it! It’ll make you helpless, do not try to learn helplessness! Believe me! We’re not helpless, God doesn’t play at all when He created us. He gave so many thing in us..and still giving us much more! I know it’s okay to feel helpless, but don’t let your self learn helplessness.

Do not underestimate ourselves, we have heart to feel and brain to think, and we have many people around that love us for who we are. We can help each other.

For me, sometime i just need someone saying “it’s okay, everything is gonna be alright..cheer up” (thanks ka! hehehe), or a shoulder to cry on, or someone who just listening to me, or simply a hug without saying anything. – What I love the most is the hug – (just like you Falak hahaha).

Step back for awhile from your problems, you could be more objective in seeing your problems. And you’ll see which road that lead you out of the problems.

Don’t giving up so easily, if you can’t solve your problem, search for help. But onething, we must remember.. we must be ready to listen to other’s point of view. I my self, sometime looking for justification of what I feel, and that’s a very bad thing to do. Don’t look for someone just to justify on how you feel, you’ll be more helpless. Don’t get mad if someone gives a point of view that very different from what you think. Okay?

Without all of the problems.. my life is not alive.. those problems help me to understand my self more, help me to understand people around me, help me to reach beyond what i think was my limit, help me to be a better person, and help me to realize that God always give His best in me.

Ketika Imong bilang jangan bermain dengan api

I said… I won’t!

But..it’s so damn hard not to!!!

So tempting…

Apalagi ketika semua masalah bertumpuk..tumpang-tindih. Rasanya ingin mengambil resiko itu, biarin deh terbakar sekalian hahahahaha

But no… I don’t want to end up like that. I can see all of my problems as bumbu penyedap to spice up my life. And I don’t need to add some fire in my life.

Hhhmmm… kayaknya Tuhan seneng banget nih bercanda ama aku